This tournament finished now.

27 September 2010 at 7:53 pm (World Open 2010)
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I am a tiny bit rubbish at remembering to comment on tournaments’s endings. Mostly because they are always WRONG. This one was rubbish and I mostly didn’t bother to watch, because I think that is more polite than watching snooker I’m not going to enjoy. Robertson won. Apparently. I am taking that on faith more than anything, though. Maybe the internet’s just lying to make itself feel better.

Apparently also the bbc are thinking of not showing the October tournament any more, which is even more rubbish than Neil Robertson winning things. You should write to them and tell them how much you liked it. Hazel, Steve and John kept saying how wonderful and amazing it was and how much EVERYONE had enjoyed it and how much it was LIKE GOLD AND BRILLIANCE. And they probably meant it, but they just sounded like they wanted jobs.

I liked having semis and a final all on one day. It was brilliant apart from how Mark J Williams had an emotion and got lost half way through his match. OH MAN. Mostly I really enjoyed this tournament and I sort of keep thinking, oh what a lovely format, but when I think about it more Allen wasn’t there and Selby left early. I think that helped. Maybe that’s something snooker should take from this. It was a good format, though. It was nice to see it work. And a few people have said to me how much they liked being able to sit down and see a match from start to finish without it taking forever.

I don’t think they should shrink the world championship, I love the world championship. I know it’s CRAZY, but that makes it GLORIOUS. And I know people are going ‘oh wow there was all the tension, but in just five frames!’ but that’s because people don’t have a MEMORY OR SENSE. There was none of the brilliant ‘OH MY GOD THE MID-SESSION INTERVAL KILLED HIM’ or any of the ‘he had a really strong second session and now THIS’, or anything that makes snooker a bit epic. I liked it, don’t get me wrong. But it was a small little tricky event. The world championship is magnificent.

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Quarter finals and the last bits of yesterday that weren’t quarter finals yet.

25 September 2010 at 5:35 pm (World Open 2010)
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Ding vs Williams

This match was weird, but nice, but weird. Ding played the first two frames without trying, and he was just sort of perfect, and it was really sad because he kept leaving the white ball just right on the cushion, and when Williams was best that was just everything he did (because he had the white ball on a string, which is cheating, but which nobody ever minded) and it was kind of like Mark Williams was old for a while. And it’s weird watching Mark Williams be affected by things, he got some kicks, and the commentators always still say ‘well he’s blessed with a great temperament’ and ‘I’m not sure it’ll matter to Mark Williams, not a lot bothers him when he’s at the table’, but he has emotions now! He doesn’t cope entirely well with everything, he looks worried and afraid. It’s like he has played his career in reverse. And he got two kicks, and phones went off, and Jan had to throw someone out of the arena. So it was all a bit trying and Mark Williams wasn’t getting in, and then the third frame was all a bit scrappy in my memory, but Mark Williams won it, and then suddenly he knew about long potting and position and things again, and Ding just stopped being perfect, like there was only so much talent to go around and it had just passed over to Williams. And it wasn’t like awesome snooker, and really I want them both to win things, and it’s unfair that they can’t.

Robertson/Higginson, and Peter Ebdon:
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24 September 2010 at 4:05 pm (World Open 2010)
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Yesterday there was snooker and it was fine. Did you notice how my blog stopped telling me anything that happened in snooker and just became sadness and worry and love about snooker? I noticed that.

Ding won. Which is nice. And Mark J just about won, which was good. And then OH GOD Liu Song so nearly won, but Peter Ebdon just sort of stabbed him until he gave up. And it was kind of awful because Peter Ebdon forgot how to hit balls and make them into pockets and they just sort of randomly scrambled away from his cue and it really was quite difficult to watch even when you (meaning I) don’t particularly want him to manage.

And O’Sullivan won, which was quite nice because it meant he got to say nice things about Jimmy White and then show BEAUTIFUL RESPECT for Hendry, which is something he excels in nowadays.

The draw mocked my naivete in FORGETTING O’SULLIVAN and put Hendry against him, obviously, but IDK. Ding and Williams didn’t have to play each other, so they are both through. 2 of 3 is good enough for me. Maybe Maguire will get through as well. Not that I am sticking up for Maguire, because I have a Policy.

O’Sullivan’s post match interview having beaten Hendry 3-1 said that basically his tournament was down hill from here, because he’s got a 147, played Jimmy White and beaten Stephen Hendry. Presumably he FORGOT that Mark Williams is awesome again now, and playing him will be nearly as good as playing Higgins. He should cheer up a bit. Also he loves Ding! He forgot about Ding. Snooker’s not as rubbish at it was a few years ago, Ronnie.

I think it’s weird when people refer to players by their nationality, you see it all the time in snooker articles ‘the welshman, Mark Williams’ and ‘the scot Alan McManus’. I don’t really think it’s weird, I think it’s totally understandable. But I think you could split them into way more interesting categories. You could have healthy looking snooker players against sickly ones. And scruffy ones against neat ones. And emotionally stable ones against slightly worrying ones. ‘The scruffy Mark Williams secured his place in the quarter finals today . . .’ is FAR MORE POINTY than merely calling him welsh. I think we should have a nations cup again because I loved it, but I would like it even more if they played healthy versus pale and tragic.

Things that make me laugh about snooker are (a) Mark Williams being world number 5, and (b) when they introduce Maguire as a winner of 4 ranking titles. HOW DID EITHER OF THOSE THINGS HAPPEN? They’re brilliant.

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Snooker. I really hate subject lines.

22 September 2010 at 3:02 pm (snooker, World Open 2010)
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Yesterday in the snooker John Virgo said ‘superbly’. It was sort of saddening somehow, kind of like all was not well with the world.

Today in the snooker Hendry is commentating. On Ken Doherty. I love today. I’ve only heard Hendry commentate about twice before, and it is a perfect thing. If it wasn’t too sad to contemplate I would almost like him to hurry and retire, so we can just listen to him judge people ALL DAY LONG.

I love Hendry. I love that he stands a better chance in best of fives than anything else nowadays, because concentration is his greatest enemy, but this isn’t the sort of tournament he wants to win, so it means nothing.

I would like Ken to play more betterly now, while I go back to looking at all the ways the draw for the next round might choose to make me sad. (So far I am thinking it’ll make Ding play Williams, because I love them both and they’re both playing awesome. And Hendry play Ebdon, because that’s my least favourite match in the world. But maybe Hendry will play Williams, which would bring me glee along with my sorrow, because I want them both to get points and more matches, so maybe the stronger sadness would balance out my slight happy. I don’t know. How snooker will hurt me next is a constant game of guesswork.)

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140-0 is a perfectly respectable score.

21 September 2010 at 4:15 pm (World Open 2010)
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Okay, I am really struggling to understand all the fuss about Ronnie not wanting to make a 147. I watched it all happen and really didn’t think there would be fuss, and now there is fuss, and I don’t understand it. Is it just the press wanting a story about how Ronnie is ‘maverick’, or are people properly judgey? Surely all that could happen from watching that yesterday is that you could go ‘oh, Ronnie’ and then get over it. (Or be utterly gleeful about him asking after one red one black about the prize. That’s far more awesome, than not potting the black is awful.)

If it’s a gambling thing then actually the appalling thing is Jan Verhaas changing reality. In reality Ronnie scored 140 points, if you put money on Ronnie making a 147 in that match you should lose your money, because he didn’t. It’s not new, people not scoring as many points as they possibly can in a frame. Loads of players take on unlikely shots after they’ve crossed the line to win a frame, even sometimes if they haven’t made a century yet. Mark J never bothered to get to a century in olden days, he didn’t care at all. If you bet on him to get a century, you have to be taking that into account. With Ronnie, whatever you are betting on, surely you’re meant to take into account that he is Ronnie O’Sullivan? I don’t think they should get moneys.

(Mark Williams has said that he should have just potted it . . . or tried a double. Oh, I love his love for doubles. I love that he tried to cut in the black off the spot because otherwise you are leaving your opponent a double and HE WANTS ALL THE DOUBLES FOR HIMSELF. I liked him telling Steve Davis and John Parrott to basically piss off thinking he was wrong, because he still liked it best.)

If the crossness is that he didn’t think £4000 was worth playing for, then they weren’t listening, because £4000 is the highest break, it’s not the maximum prize, and that’s the whole point of Ronnie’s argument. He can still win the £4000 pounds without making 147. I know he was kind of dismissive of the money in the post match interviews as well, but that’s because he’s a bit of a tosser. That isn’t news, stop making that be news.

If it’s seriously that weird thing about his fans wanting to see a 147, then that’s just nonsense. They already saw that. They saw him playing in the form and the way and the ability to make a 147, the scoreline isn’t going to change that. It’s just as awesome to see Ronnie O’Sullivan score 140 points in two seconds and then not bother with the black as it is to see another 147. I don’t understand.

If you think it’s disrespectful then you have to ban Ronnie from the game or get over it. You can’t make a rule about *caring*. You can’t say people can only play snooker if they *care*. You get to play snooker if you’re good at it. I’m not even saying Ronnie doesn’t care about snooker (it’s not his life, it’s just some green baize, it’s a game, it’s not his whole life – these brackets brought to you from Ronnie’s every interview circa 1998-2005) I’m just saying it doesn’t matter if he wants to act as if he doesn’t. You can’t build a sport around Ronnie O’Sullivan and still have Ronnie O’Sullivan in it, because Ronnie O’Sullivan’s mental well being doesn’t work that way.

I love Ding. But Jimmy Michie talking to himself in mirrors makes me happy. In a way that Peter Ebdon talking to himself in mirrors makes me sick. Continuity is for quitters. Now I would like Stephen Lee to win, and my afternoon will have a 3 for 3 record again. But I like Nigel Bond, I am a little bit sticking up for him, it will make children happy all across the world.

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Yesterday’s snooker

21 September 2010 at 1:17 pm (World Open 2010)
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The best bit of yesterday’s snooker was not:

1. Ronnie O’Sullivan. I’m so fond of Ronnie these days I am practically not me. You can’t really write about Ronnie without sounding a bit patronising or idiotic. I don’t think it’s particularly awful not to want to pot a black ball. Obviously it’s not great that he’s temperamental enough to be doing all that bashing things around in the frame before, but he goes through patches. Mostly I am a bit sad that he is still so incredibly suggestible that it only takes Jan going ‘go on, Ronnie’ to make him do a thing he doesn’t want to do. Like I said, patronising.

2. Matthew Stevens. It is so so familiar watching Matthew Stevens sitting in his chair wondering what on earth he just did. Maybe it’ll be fine. Mark Williams was in the arena, soaking up all his luck and talent, so in a way perhaps it wasn’t his own fault. There are loads and loads of tournaments I do not watch nowadays, so maybe he can get enough ranking points in those so that it doesn’t matter that he misses every time I look at him.

3. Jamie Cope beating Dave Harold. I like Dave Harold well enough, I don’t stick up for him because I have memories of him beating John Higgins quite often many years ago, which may be fake memories, but are enough. Mostly I am just glad whenever Jamie Cope wins matches, because I worry about cursing him through my support. I am just that important.

THE BEST BIT OF SNOOKER YESTERDAY was Ken Doherty and John Virgo singing between frames and trying to identify pop music, and chatting on about madonna and lady gaga and debbie harry. It was the best bit of almost anything. It might make the embarrassing silly music between frames almost worthwhile.

I have to go and stick up for Mark Williams and Ali Carter simultaneously now.

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World open, day 2

20 September 2010 at 9:47 am (snooker, World Open 2010)
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My favourite bit of the snooker was when Hazel passed over to the commentators at the beginning and Willie Thorne was watching football, not snooker. At least it wasn’t golf. Perhaps it was the red button, which wasn’t showing snooker because it is a weekend and snooker is clearly a working week sport. Or perhaps Willie Thorne had a bet on somewhere.

The afternoon was awesome. Everyone I love (Hendry, Williams, Ding) won their match, and Stephen Hendry was snarky. (And entirely failing to come to terms with the idea that he is not perfect. Why you should have to come to terms with a total lie is beyond me, but it does rather seem to mean he is probably going to have to retire soon which is for sadness.)

I didn’t watch Jimmy White’s match, but I tuned in accidentally to see the beginning of Selby/Hawkins, and stayed to the end because it was great. And Hawkins won it, despite nearly not winning it a million times. So far this nice short format is working well.

I can’t believe Jimmy White is going to play Ronnie O’Sullivan. The draw wasn’t televised. I’m not saying those statements are connected. The draw is mostly unremarkable except Ali Carter and Mark Williams have to play each other, which is sad.

The worst bit of yesterday was the bbc’s new feature called ‘four’ or something? It is set in a primary school, and they have put Hendry and Parrott in a room with Murphy and Ebdon, and THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN. That is too much awesome meeting too much vile. They’re sitting around discussing players, and Murphy is always so eager to want to be on these things but actually has nothing to say. He had to talk about Hendry and he clearly hated Hendry and all he could say was that as he was growing up Hendry was on the telly a lot. Right. The saddest bit was when Murphy said, about Jimmy White, ‘you don’t just forget how to play snooker’ and Hendry’s head dropped and he looked at the floor for a bit. OH HENDRY.

The second worst bit of yesterday was the music and lights between frames. I missed them on Saturday. Oh dear. It looks like some awful party where no one is dancing or having fun. I don’t think the music is benefiting anyone, and the lights are just so sad looking. Mostly it’s awful for old people, old people HATE background noise, it messes with their hearing aids, so basically now not only do they have to sit in silence for hours – which is fine – but they also can’t have a quick chat in the breaks. Still, it serves them right for being OLD and BORING, and not the people Barry Hearn wants to enjoy snooker. It’s a hard life, not being in Barry Hearn’s one true demographic.

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Snap judgements about snooker

19 September 2010 at 11:30 am (World Open 2010)
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So, I disappeared a bit. I don’t really remember what happened after day 10 of the world championships, probably some of it was fine. I wanted Graeme Dott to win in the final, almost more than anything, but it was mostly from wanting Robertson to lose, which is an awful thing to write on the internet so I try not to, but mostly came out of not wanting Robertson to mess up the rankings, which he did. I try to like him, but I mostly don’t.

John Higgins sort of did his own bit in messing up the rankings, yes. He probably has to take a bit of blame, just a little bit. But really Ronnie should have been there as a back up and he failed. I find myself sort of okay with the Higgins thing, but I’m not really going to write about it.

Anyway, they’ve changed the rankings now so they’re almost entirely unimportant to me \o/. I can just ignore that this whole ‘new generation’ thing taking on a reality. I liked when it was just an imagination, but if they’re going to be world champions, and world number ones, that’s a pity.

ANYWAY.

It is the world open or some such, and I don’t see why we shouldn’t make snap judgements about a tournament that is making best of five judgements, so here:

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