I ignored snooker for the TINIEST WHILE when it started today and it just went terrible. Murphy got 2 frames and Williams lost 3. Snooker is rubbish when left to its own devices. Admittedly, it is also rubbish when I sit and worry over it.
I just want Mark Williams to WIN THINGS. It’s a reasonable request.
Anyway:
Williams 3 – 6 Walden
In the 3 frames I didn’t watch, MJW apparently played kind of fine, he nearly got a fucking maximum, but he didn’t actually get any frames at all. Because Ricky Walden was all in his way. He won the fourth frame, because I sat and *helped* him.
During the mid-session interval there was just SO MUCH NEWS that we didn’t even have to look at Murphy, which is a great policy, the bbc should adopt it harder.
Instead we had an interview with Ronnie, and they just shouldn’t interview him when he is emotional and would tell you anything. But also they said kind things and Ken wanted to hug him, and I sort of think hugs from Ken might cure ANYTHING.
(Oh Steve Peters must be sad. Ronnie was going to be his greatest triumph and instead all he’s done is push him back ten years.)
Then they showed a bit of Mark Allen saying things and pooh poohed the idea that there was anything wrong with Barry Hearn at all.
(The thing I still don’t get is this idea that ANYONE wouldn’t have improved the prize money and number of tournaments, if they got put in charge. I know Barry Hearn is probably very good at the whole sponsorship negotiating side of stuff, but it wasn’t an *impossible* job or anything. Snooker was MADLY POPULAR in europe and china and EVERYWHERE and Rodney Walker (if that’s the name I think it is) was ignoring that. You didn’t need to be a genius to make snooker successful. THE GAME ITSELF was already really really popular. Barry Hearn isn’t some sort of fucking wizard. He just keeps saying that the game *isn’t* popular in some weird attempt to make people think he’s clever for making it popular when EVERYONE KNEW IT WAS POPULAR, it’s an AMAZING GAME. But anyway, it’s not like it matters, it’s not like he’s going to wreck the world championship or anything. Or sue anyone who disagrees with him. Or just RUIN EVERYTHING. No, it’s all fine.)
Anyway, then Williams and Walden came back out and Williams won some frames and lost some frames, depending on . . . air? I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T UNDERSTAND SNOOKER, IT HAS GONE VERY RUBBISH IN THE LAST TWO DAYS. (I’m not meant to complain, because of how I complained for years and then everything went quite well again for a bit. But I still FEEL very complainey about how snooker isn’t perfect always for me.)
(Higgins and Williams might EASILY have managed their come backs if this was best of 17, and it wasn’t, and that’s fine, they should also learn to play short matches, but there’s nothing AMAZING about winning a match over 11 frames. Winning a match over 17 frames when you can’t really pot anything for a while in the middle, and you don’t panic, and you casually destroy your opponent, that’s what we’re missing here.)
Murphy 6 – 4 Gould
I HAD HOPES FOR GOULD. Murphy went 5-1 up, I think? It might have been 5-0. I couldn’t really look at it, obviously. Then Gould did some coming back, and Murphy did some SELFISHLY NOT LOSING and now he’s in a quarter final of a tournament he is pretending is still clever. It’s not clever.
Carter 2 – 6 Allen
Two? That’s what world snooker says. I thought he got a little bit better than that, but it was probably just wishful thinking. The best bits of commentary were all in this match, it was Dennis and Terry, and Allen, Carter and Fu were all playing – on various tables – and they all belong a bit to Terry – in various ways. So he was just a mess of supportive understanding. I especially love him watching Carter, because he is SO JUDGEY on Carter.
Dennis asked who he thought would win, Allen, or Carter, and he asked about four times, and then he said ‘I AM ASKING YOU WHO WILL WIN’ and Terry acted like he was being made to choose between his children. He didn’t pick. But he meant Allen.
The best bit of commentary, though, was in the last frame, I think it was the last one, when Dennis had to go:
“Well, he’s put one red over a corner, another red over the other corner, and he’s snookered himself on all the colours.”
It was quite a spectacular piece of awfulness. Earlier to that Allen fluked TWO REDS AT ONCE. The snooker gods are ENTIRELY PRESENT AND CORRECT in York. Maybe they got left there last time, and have been stewing. I’ve never seen such a fluke-ridden tournament. Anyway, they sided with Allen, which I’m assuming means they hate Barry Hearn. Although I think Ali Carter hates Barry Hearn too.
Ali Carter’s threatened to resign on twitter. (Why would he resign on twitter? I mean he’s threatened, on twitter, to resign.) I HOPE THEY ALL START DOING IT. I hope it is just the NEW THING THEY SAY when they lose matches. I hope he says it’s because of Barry Hearn. I hope he doesn’t actually go away forever.
Selby 3 – 6 Fu
LOOK! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED JUST WHEN SNOOKER WAS HORRIBLE AND GOING TO KILL ME, LOOK. I am a bit overcome with love for this result.
Fu wasn’t amazing amazing, but Selby missed stuff, and Fu isn’t my favourite, and Selby isn’t my most hated, but on a day like today you take whatever CRUMBS snooker offers, so this was lovely. Thank you, snooker.
Quarter finals
THEY’RE BASICALLY AWFUL.
Maguire v Trump
Ding v Robertson
Walden v Murphy
Allen v Fu
So at best we could have Maguire/Ding ♥, Walden/Fu.
But actually we’ll have Trump/Robertson, Murphy/Allen.
Which is still not ALL BAD. I don’t hate Trump or Allen. And if Allen wins it would be lovely to see Barry Hearn give him a trophy. Mostly I don’t care. I am going to stick up for Ding. And then after tomorrow, when that’s over, I am going to pretend to love golf instead.
