Day . . . 6?

9 December 2011 at 12:42 am (snooker, uk championship 2011)

Hm.

Maguire didn’t win his match.
Ding didn’t win his.
Fu didn’t win his.

ON THE OTHER HAND:

Murphy totally went home.

So it’s kind of a balance. I don’t hate Trump or Allen, and Allen does kind of deserve a good run with how weird everyone’s being about him. Now I will be saddest if Robertson wins, which he will. I’ll be quite confused if Walden wins, but SEEING AS THEY MADE THE WHOLE TOURNAMENT MEANINGLESS he might as well.

It’s nice for Terry that his guys can stop playing each other now.

Today was probably quite exciting, snooker-wise. I just don’t care because it didn’t turn out well. Fu should have won, he got terribly close, after coming back from being behind, and then he didn’t, also I think Allen started fluking things again, so whatever.

It’ll be quite nice to get back to decent length matches tomorrow, but it’s a bit late now what with no one I care about being left. I will perhaps fade away again.

OH DING. I LOVE DING’S WHOLE FACE.

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Day five of the uk championship

8 December 2011 at 2:29 am (snooker, uk championship 2011)
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I ignored snooker for the TINIEST WHILE when it started today and it just went terrible. Murphy got 2 frames and Williams lost 3. Snooker is rubbish when left to its own devices. Admittedly, it is also rubbish when I sit and worry over it.

I just want Mark Williams to WIN THINGS. It’s a reasonable request.

Anyway:

Williams 3 – 6 Walden

In the 3 frames I didn’t watch, MJW apparently played kind of fine, he nearly got a fucking maximum, but he didn’t actually get any frames at all. Because Ricky Walden was all in his way. He won the fourth frame, because I sat and *helped* him.

During the mid-session interval there was just SO MUCH NEWS that we didn’t even have to look at Murphy, which is a great policy, the bbc should adopt it harder.

Instead we had an interview with Ronnie, and they just shouldn’t interview him when he is emotional and would tell you anything. But also they said kind things and Ken wanted to hug him, and I sort of think hugs from Ken might cure ANYTHING.

(Oh Steve Peters must be sad. Ronnie was going to be his greatest triumph and instead all he’s done is push him back ten years.)

Then they showed a bit of Mark Allen saying things and pooh poohed the idea that there was anything wrong with Barry Hearn at all.

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Day the fourth.

7 December 2011 at 1:38 am (snooker, uk championship 2011)
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a) I believe the bbc are CGI-ing children into the snooker, because we know children don’t like snooker, nobody likes snooker, but especially not the young little ones, so WHY ARE THEY THERE? Nigel Bond isn’t even there for them to love and admire.

b) The WPBSA people are going to try to discipline Mark Allen for being grumpy. Hah! Wankers.

c) The bbc are paying John Parrott to whine on about how nice the short matches are, and isn’t it great that crowds get to see a result, how amazing. I AM SORRY. You are not increasing the number of results by making the match shorter. So the same number of people can come and see the RESULTS BITS, JOHN PARROTT. You’re just taking away the nice first sessions from the people who love them. Also it’s pants. Also, stop lying.

d) I love snooker. Despite that thing that happened today. And that other thing.

O’Sullivan 5 – 6 Trump

Stevens 5 – 6 Ding

OH SNOOKER, LOOK WHAT YOU DID THERE.

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UK, day 3

6 December 2011 at 11:47 am (snooker, uk championship 2011)
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Mark Allen hates Barry Hearn. Mark Allen hating Barry Hearn is one of the things I like about Mark Allen. I still fail at disliking Mark Allen as much as I sort of feel I should. I think he’s quite good at snooker, I think that’s what throws me.

Yesterday was basically awesome. How lovely is Joe Jogia, NEARLY ENTIRELY LOVELY. But let’s start with the beginning:

Trump 6-4 Dale

Allen 6-3 Gunnell

I didn’t watch Mark Allen playing snooker.

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The UK, day two

5 December 2011 at 2:06 pm (snooker, uk championship 2011)

I spent yesterday quite drunk. And watched very little snooker really, all things considered. It was probably a better plan than paying attention.

The nicest bit of day two was when the commentators during O’Sullivan/Davis just detoured for five minutes into talking about how nice it is that Matthew Stevens is back in the top sixteen. Yes. Yes it is nice.

Selby 6-0 Day

Bingham 4-6 Fu

I didn’t watch the Selby thing. Because it was painful.

I didn’t entirely watch the Fu thing either. Because Fu won a total of ONE FRAME while I was looking at him, and Bingham won a total of FOUR. Literally every time I looked at the screen Fu missed. And I don’t even care about him all that much. He’s got married, I hope he’s married that lovely girlfriend we met a year or two ago who was quiet and lovely.

O’Sullivan 6-1 Davis

Carter 6-4 Milkins

I quite liked the bits of O’Sullivan/Davis that I saw, mostly they were the bits where they were playing safety and enjoying themselves.

Carter was weird because sometimes when I watched it was like Ali Carter was AMAZING and knew what he was doing. And sometimes it was like he … didn’t. He won, though. So that’s nice.

Murphy 6-3 Li

Gould 6-2 Lines

OH GOD. I really liked Li. It’s easy to like new people when they’re playing against Murphy, obviously. But I liked when he remembered how to pot things after a while, and I liked his hair, and I liked how he wasn’t Murphy, but Murphy was Murphy, and it isn’t fair to make the new ones play him, so Li didn’t do awfully well.

And I didn’t watch any of Gould/Lines.

I understand that this isn’t the most insightful post about snooker you have ever read. They very much put the people I care about on in day 1. And then Williams happens later today.

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The UK 2011 – Day The One

3 December 2011 at 11:55 pm (snooker, uk championship 2011)
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(I call it ‘the UK’, in many ways it’s a new, meaningless tournament, because they’ve taken all the frames away and are playing it in some sort of rush with the screens up. So it might as well be anything.)

Snooker was hilarious today.

In the morning session, which is some sort of lunchtime affair now, Ding was playing on one table and Higgins on the other. They both sort of dawdled their way to 5-5 and were going to go home because snooker hates me and that’s fine. I was okay with that.

Except then the snooker gods woke up and looked down on what they had created and frowned at it, and POTTED BALLS OF THEIR OWN ACCORD. Literally they did. Within about twenty minutes of each other Ding and Higgins both won their matches on flukes. HIGGINS FLUKED TWICE. It was BEAUTIFUL.

You have no idea how cross and outraged I would be if Robertson and Selby had just won matches on flukes both at the same time for no good reason. But they didn’t. So I don’t care.

I could put some numbers in:

Higgins 6 – 5 McLeod

Ding 6 – 5 Davis (M)

So that was nice.

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