Possibly my inverted commas are inverting the wrong part of that title. I don’t think it’s either very powerful or very snooker.
I stopped writing about snooker, but I need somewhere to have some rage about this.
The issues I have with powersnooker are many, and the utter dismissiveness with which ANY issues are treated in some places are FUCKING ME OFF EVEN MORE.
Things I’m not complaining about even though any complaints you seem to make about power snooker seem to be taken as ‘oh you just don’t like that they have to make changes and try new things’:
I don’t have any issues with the game itself. But EVERY other issue I have had with anything has been argued with as though I was just sad that they’d changed the rules. Because people are wankers. I think for a random charity event, this could be a nice weekend of a kind of new game that’s okay. (I’d turn the lights up and make the table a sensible colour, obviously.) It’s not as good as real snooker, but it would be fine if any of the players were enjoying themselves, and if Hazel was there. And if everyone involved with it wasn’t a dick.
(Actually I really like Sarah as well. I know she’s there to be pretty and show legs, but what I really really like is that the same men who she has been put there for are also the ones judging her for not knowing about snooker. Oh, isn’t sexism grand? NOBODY who starts presenting snooker knows anything about snooker. Rishi didn’t know a THING when he started, Ray Stubbs presented snooker for AGES and NEVER learned anything about it. Somehow their inane questions were fine, but with Sarah, oh she’s an air head. Lovely.)
Things I have issues with, big issues, big, massive:
They keep saying, “the future of snooker”, “snooker for the new millennium”, “moving with the times”, etc.
a) Fuck off. It’s not the future of snooker is it? Because it’s not snooker. And . . . I come from fandom, and it’s like they’re trying to reboot snooker the way they do with remakes all the time now, and they’re just talking about themselves as if anyone was taking them seriously and it’s EMBARRASSING. The players don’t care. They keep asking them in interviews and they all go ‘well it’s a nice bit of fun’ even though they look bored as hell, and haven’t bothered to find out the rules. And the makers of power snooker kind of bristle as if we should be embracing this and probably changing the world championship immediately. They’re doing every wanky thing it is possible for a remake to do.
I understand the need to try to create enthusiasm about a new event, but you don’t have to do that by being rude and STUPID AND SMALL MINDED about snooker itself. That’s just idiotic. Like the rest of your weird event.
Describing this as ‘a breath of fresh air’ or ‘a refreshing change’ is not encouraging people to like snooker, is it? It’s painting real snooker as something dull and old and boring. Something it isn’t, and something you shouldn’t want people to think it is. Claiming that stuff like this is going to encourage people to enjoy snooker while simultaneously taking every opportunity to HATE SNOOKER YOURSELVES is stupid.
b) YOU CANNOT BE THE FUCKING FUTURE IF YOU HAVE PRETTY ‘GIRLS’ LEADING THE PLAYERS TO THE TABLE. If you are sponsored by The Sun. And if the coverage is sponsored by a beer that calls this ‘REAL MEN’S TV’. If you are coming from the past with your stupid sexist ugly coverage then you are not the future, you’re an embarrassment.
In the old days of the world championship ‘pretty girls’ came on with the cheque and trophy at the end. Do you know why they stopped doing that? BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING DISGRACEFUL.
I went to see the premier league once, I think that’s what it was, they had a warm up guy who told mother-in-law jokes. MOTHER IN LAW JOKES! And they had bits before the adverts where ‘pretty girls’ welcomed players out of cars or something. It’s the only snooker they play anywhere near me, but it was the most alienated I’ve ever felt at a snooker game. Everything about the set up SCREAMED that it wasn’t for me, that they didn’t care about my being there. It was for men.
Powersnooker is doing the same thing only more so. I can’t believe the power girls. (They’re not girls, they’re women. I have to say that, in case nobody has noticed.) It’s just sick. It’s everything that is vile about itv darts. I can’t believe they think it’s acceptable in this day and age, much less pretend they’re bringing snooker into a new age. FUCK OFF HARDER.
This is why I am SO VERY ATTACHED to the bbc snooker coverage. It’s not like they’re perfect or don’t make mistakes – the ‘warm up’ guy at the welsh snooker joked about how guys had dragged their girlfriends to the snooker on valentine’s day, with the guys having to sit there going ‘well no, she just likes snooker’ – but they still, most of the time, actually make me feel like maybe my favourite sport doesn’t hate me. Which is a valuable feeling for me. And not one that ANY OTHER TV station seems to care to replicate.